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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27761707">the rest is confetti</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGodWith5Yen/pseuds/TheGodWith5Yen'>TheGodWith5Yen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Acceptance, Afterlife, Canonical Character Death, Episode: s04e11 DUME, Family, Force Ghost Kanan Jarrus, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Memories, Padawan Kanan Jarrus, Post-Episode: s04e11 DUME, Quote: The Force works in mysterious ways, The Force, idk what to tag this, in a way? but not really, somewhat inspired by thohh and thobm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:07:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27761707</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGodWith5Yen/pseuds/TheGodWith5Yen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He closed his eyes and, again and again, was finding himself in all the moments that mattered and the moments that felt like nothing. What made him, what broke him, what rebuilt him, what sustained him, what healed him. He closed his eyes and saw it all, again and again, for the first time, for the last time, again, from his eyes, from hidden shadows. </p><p>He opened his eyes as death swallowed him up, a warm embrace that sheltered him as, finally-too-soon-finally, he was one with the Force.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the rest is confetti</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi I had this little idea after my rewatch of rebels soooo here this is :) enjoy :)</p><p>title from Nell's monologue in the last episode of The Haunting of Hill House:</p><p>"Forgiveness is warm. Like a tear on a cheek. Think of that, and of me, when you stand in the rain. I loved you completely. And you loved me the same. That's all. The rest is confetti."</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He closed his eyes and, again and again, was finding himself in all the moments that mattered and the moments that felt like nothing. What made him, what broke him, what rebuilt him, what sustained him, what healed him. He closed his eyes and saw it all, again and again, for the first time, for the last time, again, from his eyes, from hidden shadows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened his eyes as death swallowed him up, a warm embrace that sheltered him as, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally-too-soon-finally</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he was one with the Force.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A breath in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A breath out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the back of his mind he remembered all that he learned of the living Force, of what it meant to return to what a person once was, to give the energy that was your soul back where it belonged. Nobody was ever really gone. It was that thought that had kept him sane as a child, young and so kriffing terrified his bones shook and his heart stuttered. The Jedi had returned to the Force, they were one with the Force, as it was always meant to be. It happened much too soon, yes, but it was meant to happen one day. As he lived the moments, watched them, he wondered if this was what it had meant all along. Was Master Billaba experiencing the very same, gone, but still living, in the past, present, and future? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He closed his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hand, warm and familiar, set on his shoulder and he knew even without his sight that it was Hera. Her presence within the Force was a beacon to him, something so warm and soft and strong he couldn’t help but be drawn to her. He raised up his head and smiled, enjoying how her presence shifted, a spike of happiness that danced around them and crawled underneath his skin. “Hi there,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hera’s voice caused his spine to tingle, rough yet smooth, beautiful and lulling. He could listen to her voice all day and he would be nothing but happy. “There you are Kanan. We’ve been looking everywhere for you. Ezra, Sabine, and Zeb are about to head off for a mission. Think you can go and see them off? I know things have been stiff between you and Ezra since… but I think it would be good for you to at least say something before he leaves.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He processed her words, tilted his head to the side, and opened his mouth— </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think I can try form VII?” He asked curiously as he moved through the motions of form III. Vaapad was the form that his master used from time to time, a beautiful dance of her flashing lightsaber that held him entranced when he had first seen her use the form, and was a style of lightsaber skills that his grandmaster had created. He glanced over towards Master Billaba, his short braid brushing his cheek as he did. Master Billaba had paused in her demonstration of a new skill regarding form III, her wide eyes staring into his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You cannot Caleb. To use Vaapad is to toe between the light and the dark, and for you to ever have use of it is not something that I think you should attempt to use. At least not at this age.” Master Billaba smiled, warm and kind, as she moved to set her hand onto his shoulder. “You’re progressing wonderfully Caleb, you—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“—can’t do this you know? Isn’t this like kidnapping?” The kid, Ezra, said with a pout as he crossed his arms. He tilted his head to the side as a small chuckle escaped his lips as he took the kid in. That look was something he would learn to love no matter how much it annoyed him. Kids do that to a person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I miss you.” He said, despite knowing it wouldn’t be heard. That wasn’t how it had gone. But he missed him. He missed his Padawan, so stubborn and sweet, he missed his son, so full of light and courage. “I need you to know, I miss you Ezra. But it was for the best. It had to be done. You know that, right? I hope you know that. All I’ve wanted since I met you was the best for you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead what came out of his mouth was, “Well maybe you’ll consider the consequences next time you try to steal from the Empire.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you guys aren’t the Empire. I don’t even know </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> you guys are.” The kid leaned forward, his face a scowl as he tried to be as intimidating as a scrawny fourteen year old street rat could be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re your family,” he whispered, the words only for him to hear, but true nonetheless. He watched Ezra’s face, scowling and naive despite the years he had lived on his own. What did he say? It was something stupid, some joke, something that made Zeb laugh and punch at his shoulder, “We’re the guys who—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“—are you Kanan Jarrus?” Hera placed a hand on her hip and grinned at him as she set her other hand onto his chest. She must have felt how his heart began to go into overdrive. He couldn’t help it even as he tried, already feeling as his cheeks heated up as he glanced down at her. Hera was the most beautiful, strong-willed, wonderful, stubborn person he had ever met and he knew that he could never let her go. “Sometimes I think I know exactly who you are and then you…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I what?” He asked with a grin as he set his forehead onto hers. He placed a hand on top of the hand placed on his chest, slowly turning it ever to entwine them together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You surprise me.” She whispered as they shifted closer and closer and— </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sob tore through Ezra as he pressed his face into his shoulder. All he could do was hold onto him, tight and long, letting the kid expel everything he held for so long. He rubbed at his back and let him cry, knowing that it was something he wished for when he had been around Ezra’s age. “I can’t believe I will never see them again.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He placed his chin on top of Ezra’s head and shook his head. “They will live on Ezra. In your heart, and in the Force. Everything may feel dark now, I know that it had for me when the Jedi Order had been diminished, but they live on in the Force.” He stared forward, unseeing despite the sight he had, tears marring his vision as he mourned with the boy. He never wanted him to feel like this, but he knew it was what life meant, to lose and live. It happened to everyone in one way or another. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does that even mean? How can they live on in the Force when they’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>gone</span>
  </em>
  <span>? How can I just trust in the Force if people I love are going to die anyways? Isn’t me becoming a Jedi supposed to </span>
  <em>
    <span>help</span>
  </em>
  <span> them?” Ezra pushed away so he could see him face. Tears lined his face and the white of his eyes were red with irritation. “What if I can’t save Sabine or Zeb or Hera or,” his voice broke and became so fragile and small as he whispered, “you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ezra, you can’t save everyone no matter how hard you try or wish you could. We will all return to the Force one day. No matter who—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“—are you?” The young man stood tall, and he couldn’t help but admire him and his strength. He had grown so much from who had once been, from his body to his soul, he was different from when he had last seen him. From when he had first seen him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He breathed out, “I am Dume.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dume. That was my master’s name.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was, wasn’t it? Dume tilted his head to the side and, even as Ezra spoke on and Dume answered, he was off into the memory of what was once him, what was and always him, what would be forever etched into the history of the galaxy, small and remarkable, large and trivial, forgotten and remembered in time and space. He moved on, he stayed, he watched, he laughed, he cried, he fought, he lived, he died, he loved. Again and again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dume. That was my master’s name.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You must </span>
  <em>
    <span>run</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Go. I’ll be right behind you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kanan, I know what to say now. I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Because I was there to save him. He’s a street rat—wild, reckless, dangerous and—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be right behind you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You lie. You cheat. You steal. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>survive</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Didn’t they teach you </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> useful at that temple of yours?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can learn what it truly means to be a Jedi.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dume. That was my—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“—Master Kenobi is alive and Maul is going to—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Again and again. The Force brought him through them all, giving him one last wish as he closed his eyes and let it all happen again and again and again. It was painful, yet cathartic. It was his and only his to live in even in death, a life no one else knew or could fathom. Kanan was gone, but Dume continued on, watching, waiting, listening, reliving. Dume opened his eyes. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tell me what you think &lt;3 thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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